Messy

It has been a sad day to me today. Not just work related but more to the fact that I am in a LDM. I hate it the most today or now like never before. This is just not the case of missing my husband and its Monday the day I hate the most!

Part of being married is being there right by your partner, in sick or in health, for richer or poorer. It is in our human nature to be of a help to the person we love. To try give help and support in any form possible whenever it is needed or just to ease the burden for the person we love.

Lately, for almost 2 weeks now, hubby is under alot of stress and extremely busy. I am not exaggerating but I have never seen him like this before. Last thursday, he did not eat anything untill dinner. Yesterday, he said many things that make me worry. He said things like 'there is so much in my head right now, I cant think properly' and ' I feel so helpless as most of the problems are beyond my control'. I almost didnt let him drives back to KL.  At lunch time yesterday, while eating, he keep on trying to send out emails. He sits in front of the laptop almost all day, barely spending any time with me. He goes back earlier than usual yesterday. I worry about him all the way until he reaches home safely.

The reason he has to go back earlier is because he has to go to Singapore today. So he has to pack his stuff. While packing he could not find the Singapore Dollars, Rupiah, and USD that we had changed the day before. So it was very messy last night and I can't do anything but listen and silently cry. Thank God, his parents are at home now so he does not have to battle with Malaysian taxi driver who cannot be on time. His dad sent him off to the LRT Putra station this morning.

He is already on his way as I am typing this. He is going to the airport straight from the office. Tomorrow, he will be in Batam overseeing the project they are doing there. On Wednesday, he will go to a meeting at a hotel in KL right after he step off the plane with his trolley bag. On Thursday, I will spare him the weekly drives back to Kuantan by going to KL after school.

If only we are together, I can make him some packed lunch so he could eat in the office and saves him the time as he does not have to go for lunch.

If only we are together, I can help him pack his suitcase last night and saves him the trouble of packing his clothes and toiletries at least.

But last night, I feel so helpless, felt that I am such a lousy wife who just can listen and silently cry.


There is not much I can do when we are apart like this. I cant wait for this to get over with and I am looking forward to book a hotel room somewhere, preferbly with a good SPA so we could relax and wind off after all this is over.

But for now, I still feel very sad and powerless and I dont know what to do to make it less messy and better.

I hate this feeling.